"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."

I tried. Oh how I tried to walk away. But the new owner is REALLY working on me to stay with the stations, and he's making it very hard to refuse.

It's not a money issue, either. It's more like "you stay and everyone else keeps their job....you leave and I bring in someone from outside, and then all bets are off."

It wasn't put in so many words, but that's the gist. Not as a threat, but as an incentive.

I have until Monday to decide.

And so the other shoe drops....

The owners announced today that they have sold the stations. Doesn't surprise me, and given that I had already decided to leave, doesn't really affect me. But I feel bad for those I leave behind. They are uncertain and scared at the moment, wondering if they have a job and what kind of changes are in store.

I'm kinda glad I won't be around to see my work of the past years changed.

Well, THAT was interesting!

Went camping this weekend (thought I'd better get used to sleeping in a tent in case the job search doesn't go so well!) and had my first storm/tent experience. I'm still very much of a novice camper, but thought I survived the night quite well, thank you. All it takes is a pillow over your face and ear plugs!

Just an aside -- why do I always pick campsites next to people who GET UP AT 6:00 IN THE FRIGGIN' MORNING????????

And just like that -- it's (almost) over

March 1985. I walked into our local radio station to visit a high school buddy who was working as a DJ and walked out with a part-time job. Weekend DJ on a country station. Didn’t even listen to the music at the time, and had never even thought about radio as something I’d like to do. I promised the (then) owner that I’d stick with it at least a year.

Twenty-one years later, it was surprisingly easy to walk into the boss this week and put in my notice. I suppose I should say I agonized over the decision, but frankly, I’m just burned out. I just can’t take being on call 24/7 anymore -- going to bed every night wondering if I’ll get a 2AM call because of an equipment problem or a 5AM call because the morning guy is sick. Tired of spending every weekend within an hour of the station in case something goes wrong. Tired of worrying about whether part-timers will show up or just decide they don’t want to do radio anymore and not bother to tell anyone. Tired of looking at the dark sky and wondering if I’ll have to go in for storm coverage or to fix equipment in the aftermath. I’m just tired.

It’s been a good ride. On-air in every shift. Ten years as news director. Eight years as engineer. Four years as operations manager/PD. The last eight years have easily been the most challenging, rewarding, stress-filled years of my life. Dragging the station, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century. Helping build the new studios and signing off in the old ones. Moving the AM on a rainy Halloween night and watching it come back to life after only an hour and a half. Turning on the FM transmitter for the very first time. Rebuilding the complete automation system in thirteen hours after a major lightning strike. Bringing the FM to higher power and making progress in two rated markets with no personnel budget and an even smaller marketing budget. Learning about transmitters, computers, boards, automation, programming and people. Geez – the people.

I’ve met and/or worked with some fantastic people over the years. Some moved on to bigger and better things, like Dave Morris and Billy Greenwood. Others passed on to a (hopefully) better place, like Herb Brandes and Don (ask him the time and he’ll tell you how to build a watch) Harms. Some are still around the business, like Bill Grother and Jim Lawson, or still around the station, like Ken Dillon and Jeff Spalding. I’ve been privileged to know Randy Raley, Lee Wheeler, Lloyd Collins, Art Morris and Ray Rouse, among many, many others. Oh, and Ken Lewellen – a true character if there ever was one, and Larry Emery, Moundville’s most famous son. And the current air staff, including the younger ones that remind me so much of myself twenty years ago. There are so many others – like my ex-wife Laurie, who I met at the station and who still works there and remains one of my best friends. And Dianne, my significant other, with whom I hope to spend the next twenty years and many, many more.

I’ve learned a lot in the past two decades – both about broadcasting and about myself. For the most part, it was an enjoyable experience, but recently has become more of a burden than it was worth. And so it’s time to walk away.

It’s a little scary, starting over at my age. Especially since I haven’t actively looked for a job in twenty years! So, if you know of anyone who needs a slightly-overweight tech guy who loves computers and technology, and isn’t afraid to work his ass off, let me know. After all, I still have that damned mortgage payment to make!

BLOCKHEAD!

I know its a little weird for a man of my (middle) age, but I like to fly kites. And I really do know better than to try it in 35mph winds, but I just couldn't resist getting the box kite out and letting it go this evening. Had about 200 feet of line out when...

WHAM! DOWNDRAFT!

Right into the big pin oak in the front yard. I feel just like Charlie Brown!


Anyone out there wanna hold the football while I kick it???


(Postscript: unlike the hapless Mr. Brown, I have a ladder. And nylon kites are not nearly as fragile as paper ones. So I have the kite back in one piece, but still feel like an idiot!)

Unhappy? Blame yourself!

Radio stations are great places to observe human behavior. Maybe it's because personalities tend to be exaggerated in this business, or maybe they're just more on display. Whatever the reason, I've noticed a few things over the past two decades. And one is that there seems to be a correlation between personal happiness and personal responsibility.

(Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist, but I did drive by a Holiday Inn Express last night!)

In looking at my coworkers, both past and present, it's pretty easy to determine which ones are intrinsically happy and which ones are miserable. And the ones that are happy are the ones who don't blame others for their problems. They take responsibility for their own mistakes, correct them, and move on. They take life's curveballs in stride, and move on. They take a moment to enjoy the successes and triumphs, and move on.

The unhappy ones never move on. They blame all their problems on the world, their last program director (or current one), their ex-spouse, the government, big business -- anyone but themselves. Case in point: one guy had a flat tire on his truck this morning. It had a screw in it. He just said" Damn, I must have driven over a screw," then put some air in it and went to get it fixed. And smiled the whole time.

Another person on staff would have gone into a tirade about thoughtless people throwing screws on the road, and the damned city should do a better job of cleaning the streets, and why can't they make tires that don't go flat and on and on and on, until everyone around him was just as miserable as he is.

Just accept the fact that sometimes there are screws in the street and sometimes you run over them. That's life! And sometimes life "screws" you!

Unhappy people also tend to ignore the consequences of their own decisions. This is a fairly stable radio station (fairly stable???? Hell, the format hasn't changed in thirty years!) Some people I've hired have cited that stability as a reason they want to work here, especially if they've been through a corporate buy-out or a sudden format change. And then, after a year or so, all they can do is complain that nothing ever changes. Dude! You knew that when you applied here. You knew that when you took the job. Don't bitch that the job isn't what you wanted...its the same job it was when you took it!!!!!

Happy people, on the other hand, accept the consequences of those same decisions. Nothing changes? Hey, at least they know what to expect each day. Don't make enough money (who does?) They knew that when they took the job, and at least they get to do something they love everyday. Market not the biggest? Yeah, but at least everyone in the market knows their name.

I don't know the "cause/effect" of the correlation. Does personal responsbility cause personal happiness? Or are the basically happy just more likely to take responsibility for their lives? I'll leave that one up to someone with a government grant.

One final note: unhappy people are difficult to be around, so they tend to flock together while the rest of us avoid them. That way their mutual tales of woe can feed their collective belief that the world is against them.

So are you happy? And who ya' gonna blame?

What if the Big Bang was a big "PLOP"?

We've all seen the models of atoms in science class -- the little electrons spin around the nucleus and life is good. But it occurs to me that when nature has a pattern that works, it tends to repeat itself in scales both large and small. And that model of an atom looks an awful lot like the model of a solar system.

Atoms combine to make molecules; solar systems combine to make galaxies. Molecules combine to form the matter that we see and feel; galaxies combine to form the universe. Who's to say that what we consider the "universe" isn't the matter of some other, vastly larger life form.

Wouldn't it be ironic if humans, with all their self-indulgent worries about wars, stadium roofs and global warming, are actually just passengers on a single electron in a single atom, part of a single molecule of a pile of steaming, cosmic dog shit?

Time is a relative thing

So here it is, just after midnight on Sunday morning, and I'm sitting at work. Not because of any earth-shattering news story or life-threatening weather. No, it's as mundane as time itself.

You'd think with all the whiz-kids making multi-millions in computers, they could have figured out a way to make our automation system deal with Daylight Savings Time. But you'd be wrong! So here I sit, waiting for 2AM, so I can type "set time 3:00:00am" into the damned server.

Sometimes this job's a bitch!